


A Little Poison Never Hurt Anyone

by dreamingofsiha



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, ME3 Timeline, Smut, coarse language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-02-27 17:20:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2701040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingofsiha/pseuds/dreamingofsiha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taking down a reaper on foot? No problem. Walking through the broken hull of a geth dreadnought when she was still suffering from PTSD from her death? No problem. Propositioning a hardass merc that she could crush under her foot if she really wanted to? That seemed to be a problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You can find the playlist that accompanies this fic here: https://8tracks.com/femshepping/a-little-poison-never-hurt-anyone

Shepard nodded her head as the bartender raised her empty glass in a wordless _would you like another?_ She absent mindedly tapped her finger on the edge of the bar as she waited. She cast a quick glance behind her and off to the right to the stairs to see if he was making his way up them.

“On the tab again, Commander?” She turned around to face the asari bartender, who was trying desperately to yell over the music to catch Shepard's attention.

“Yeah, thanks.” The asari nodded and smiled before moving on to serve the turian beside her. As she sipped (or rather, sculled) her third drink, doubt began to creep into her mind. Zaeed had never responded to her flirting back when the ship was under Cerberus colours (except for a well placed smirk and a few sweethearts here and there), but she had been sure that the way he raised his eyebrows and looked her up and down when she had met him in the refugee holding bays had been not even remotely innocent, but the more time she had to think about it, the less she wasn't sure.

“Purgatory, Shepard? You know I can't goddamn dance.” Zaeed rasped as he wedged himself between her and the turian, which earnt him some lowered brow plates from the alien.

“You know I can't either, that's why we're at the bar and not over there.” Shepard managed to say evenly as she tilted her head back slightly to notion towards the packed dance floor behind them. He still wore the same spicy cologne; the cologne that stayed in her nostrils and drove her dizzy with desire long after he had left the room.

“Can't complain about that, then.” He replied as he held up two fingers and the asari bartender nodded. Shepard watched as she poured Zaeed two scotch on the rocks.

“You've got a regular order here?” Shepard grinned, and Zaeed gave her a sideways glance as he pulled his credit chit out of his pocket. Shepard glanced down, and stopped him with a firm grip on his wrist.

“Tab.” Shepard mouthed, and the asari nodded again. When she pulled her hand away, Zaeed was frowning at her.

“Times have changed old man, let a lady treat you.” Shepard winked at him, and he rolled his good eye, but the corner of his mouth lifted slightly. Shepard took that as a win; she could count the amount of times she'd seen Zaeed smile on both of her hands (and only just).

“So what's all this about, then? I told you, I've still gotta get in contact with some of my old-”

“That's not what I wanted to talk about.” Shepard interrupted. Zaeed's brows furrowed as he waited for an explanation. Suddenly, Shepard felt nauseous. There was no trace of the (potential) lust in his eyes like earlier that day, and he instead looked mildly irritated. She looked back down at her drink and gripped it with both hands.

“Everything alright, Shepard?” Zaeed asked when Shepard's silence stretched out.

“Yeah, fine. Sorry, I didn't... you've probably got lots to do.” Shepard waved her hand in the air and gave the merc a small smile. His frown deepened as he tilted his head slightly.

“Doesn't seem fine to me. Is it Cerberus? Those god-damned assholes, I'll-”

“No, no, Zaeed, it's not Cerberus. Well, they are still a problem, but that's not what I asked you here for-”

“Is it Elvis giving you a rough time again? Fucking pompous little _prick_ , knew we should've put him down on Horizon.” Zaeed growled. Shepard couldn't help but let out a short bark of laughter.

“No, it's not Kaidan, everything's fine with him too.” Zaeed grunted in disappointment, and Shepard had to purse her lips to hold back a grin.

“What is it then?” Zaeed asked impatiently. Shepard looked up from her drink and turned to face him. Taking down a reaper on foot? No problem. Walking through the broken hull of a geth dreadnought when she was still suffering from PTSD from her death? No problem. Propositioning a hardass merc that she could crush under her foot if she really wanted to? That seemed to be a problem.

“Shit, it's bad, isn't it? What is it? The council again? Unhelpful motherfu-”

“I want to sleep with you.” Shepard let the words spill rather ungracefully from her mouth. Zaeed frowned and leaned in closer. She held her breath to protect herself from the increased intensity of his cologne.

“What did you just say?” Shepard wasn't sure if he actually didn't hear her, or if he was trying to embarrass her further by getting her to say it again.

“You heard me.” She decided on the latter.

“Bloody hell, Shepard, you know I'm half deaf. Tell me again, because what I thought you said was...” Zaeed trailed off as they stared at each other. His brows rose from their frown when he realised that yes, he _had_ heard Shepard correctly.

“Are you having a laugh?” He asked as he leant back and brought his glass up to his mouth. He kept his eyes focused on Shepard's as he tilted the glass upwards and swallowed all of it's contents, minus the ice.

“No. I'm serious.” Shepard said. She forced herself to hold eye contact; she didn't want to stammer and stutter like a flustered teenager. She was thirty one, for fuck's sake.

“Why?” Zaeed asked as he practically slammed his empty glass back down onto the bar.

“ _Why?_ ” Shepard repeated.

“Let's say I entertain the idea that you're not having me on. What's the saviour of the goddamn galaxy want with this old asshole, when just about every person, alien or otherwise, in this shit hole is staring at her?” Shepard refused to blush. The way Zaeed gave compliments felt like a sucker punch and a passionate kiss at the same time.

“Firstly, I'm not _having you on_.” Shepard made air quotes as she put on a fake British accent. Zaeed watched her with a neutral expression. The first time she had seen him smile was when she had put on a British accent during an undercover operation to take down a Blood Pack sect.

“Secondly, I haven't saved it yet, and thirdly, if I wanted someone else, I wouldn't have asked you to meet me.” Shepard realised that she was shouting and broadcasting their conversation to the immediate vicinity when the turian beside Zaeed turned around and flared his mandibles at her. She glared at the alien, and he quickly turned back around. In that moment, Shepard was glad that she was known for punching reporters. When she looked back to Zaeed, he was staring at her with an intensity that made her nervous and aroused at the same time.

He leant onto the bar on his elbows and stared straight ahead. Shepard mimicked his movement, and stirred the small purple straw around in her drink as she waited for the fuck off, Shepard, that she was sure was coming. Shepard squeezed her eyes shut as she thought about how Garrus was going to fold his arms and grin his stupid pointy needle-like grin as he rumbled a smug _I told you so, Shepard_.

“Yeah, alright.” Zaeed said suddenly as he stood up again and leant his side against the bar.

“What?” Shepard said in disbelief.

“You heard me, sweetheart.” Zaeed smirked as Shepard glared at him. _Smartass_.

“Your place or mine?” Shepard said, and Zaeed's brows shot up.

“You want to do it _now?_ ” He said gruffly.

“Why, too soon? When were you thinking? I'm free tomorrow from ten th-” Shepard clamped her mouth shut when she realised that it sounded like she was trying to make a business transaction with Zaeed rather than arrange a time to fuck. Zaeed reached for his second drink and downed it in one gulp.

“Now's fine. My place.” He said firmly, and Shepard knew that it was a statement, not a question, so she nodded and took out her credit chit to pay her tab, then followed Zaeed as he left the bar. She followed him down the stairs, and almost bumped into James when Zaeed stepped out of his path.

“Woah, Lola. You goin' somewhere?” The lieutenant asked as he looked between Shepard and Zaeed, who had stopped and turned around to watch the exchange with a frown.

“Yeah, James this is my... friend, Zaeed Massani. Zaeed, this is Lieutenant James Vega. He's currently serving on the Normandy with me.” Shepard said quickly. She inhaled deeply as she tried to calm her nerves. The two men nodded at each other and shook hands.

“I'll see you back on the ship later.” Shepard said to James. The corners of his mouth turned up briefly, and Shepard knew that he knew _exactly_ what was going on. It was no secret on board the Normandy what kind of man Shepard liked, and James only had to take one look at the scarred, impatiently waiting merc to know that he'd briefly cock-blocked Shepard. She swore under her breath; apart from Garrus, James was one of her closest friends and he was definitely going to grill her about it later.

“Yeah, see ya.” James gave her a casual salute, then resumed his mission to get to the bar. Shepard turned to look at Zaeed, who was giving her a tight lipped grin.

“Nervous, are you?”

“Fuck you.” Shepard retorted as she folded her arms, and Zaeed laughed. That made it five times she'd heard him laugh.

“Come on, then.” Zaeed was still grinning when he grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. He let go when she started walking again, and Shepard hurried her pace to keep at his side. They exited Purgatory, and got into a sky-car. Zaeed leant forward to punch in the location of his place, then leant back. He slung his arm lazily behind Shepard's head. Shepard tried desperately to think of something to say; something witty or funny or sexy or anything, but her mind was an indecipherable buzz at the anticipation of finally having Zaeed. She'd always known that she'd liked rough men, but even she was surprised when she realised just how rough. She turned her head slightly to glance at Zaeed, who was watching the Silversun Strip fly by through the window. Things were much more awkward than she had imagined they would be.

“Is it... far to your place?” Shepard asked, and she tried not to visibly cringe. Zaeed turned to look at her.

“You have reached your destination. Please take all rubbish with you upon departure. Have a nice day!” The sky-car’s cheery voice informed her. Zaeed gave her a lopsided smile.

“Oh.” She muttered as they both got out of the cab. Shepard waited at it's side as Zaeed walked around to meet her.

“Here.” He tilted his head towards the hotel on the other side of the bridge. Shepard raised her eyebrows at the building. The Emporium was one of the nicest apartment buildings on the Citadel; in fact, it rivalled Tiberius Towers for style and luxury.

“What's that look for? Didn't think I've got any class?” Zaeed growled, but Shepard knew there was no malice in it.

“Zaeed, I _know_ you have no class.” Shepard winked at him as she gave him a light punch to his armoured shoulder and started walking towards the bridge. Zaeed was next to her within seconds.

“What's that make you then?” Zaeed teased. Shepard snorted, but didn't reply. They completed the rest of the journey to the elevator and up to his apartment in silence. Shepard loitered awkwardly behind him as he fumbled with the holo key for his apartment. She frowned. This wasn't how she imagined this situation going; in her fantasy, she was a lot more confident, and he was a lot more willing. In her favourite fantasy, he would come up from the decks below her cabin and and saunter into the loft silently before grabbing her and fucking her against the wall hard and fast until she practically became part of the bulkhead.

“Fucking useless thing.” Zaeed snarled as the door beeped; denying him entry.

“What's wrong with it?” Shepard asked as she peered over his shoulder.

“Fuck knows. It's never done this before.” Zaeed muttered as he swiped the key over the door's sensor again. Shepard threw her head back and laughed. Of course. Zaeed groaned and turned around.

“Of course the goddamn piece of shit won't work when I-” Before Shepard had time to back out, she stepped forward, threw her arms around Zaeed's neck, and kissed him. His lips were surprisingly soft, and she relished the way his stubble scratched against her hairless flesh. It only took a second for Zaeed to adjust to the situation, and Shepard almost gasped into his mouth as he brought his hands up to to her hips to grip them tightly as he pulled her against him. Their mouths moved against each other's rough and insistent, and Shepard did gasp when one of Zaeed's hands slid around to grab her ass. She shamelessly pressed her front against him as hard as she could, and Zaeed let out an appreciative grunt as she did so. Shepard raked her nails down the back of his neck, and Zaeed became more ferocious; his tongue demanding access to her mouth and his hand squeezing her ass so hard it was almost painful. Shepard could feel his erection pressing against her hip, and she ground against him. Suddenly, moving so fast that Shepard was sure not even Thane could've moved so quick, Zaeed had pulled away and had turned back to try his holo key again. Shepard stood in a daze; her heart racing and her core aching.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Zaeed shouted as the door beeped again. He banged a fist against the uncooperative door, then waved the key over the sensor again, and it finally turned green. Zaeed turned around and grabbed her wrist, then pulled her into the room after him before reaching around her to shut it. Shepard didn't get to take in any of the surroundings before Zaeed had her pinned against the door; one hand on her shoulder, and the other on her hip. He looked down at her, letting his eyes wander across her face and body as she tried to steady her breathing. She cursed her memory for not doing his scent justice; it was _completely_ intoxicating. She reached out to grab his shirt to pull him closer, but he didn't move. Shepard gave him a questioning glance.

“I thought you were screwing with me, Shepard.” Zaeed said in a low voice as his good eye focused on her. Shepard frowned in slight offence.

“Why would you think that?” Zaeed took his hand from her hip and ran it through his cropped hair.

“Shit, why wouldn't you be screwing with me? Who'd bloody want to...” Zaeed didn't finish his sentence as he took a step back. Shepard straightened up and smoothed out her tunic.

“You're not half bad, you know.” Shepard said in jest, but Zaeed didn't lift his gaze from the floor.

“Hey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have joked. What's wrong?” Shepard took a cautious step towards him. Zaeed took a step back and turned around, before sauntering towards the floor to ceiling window on the opposite side of the room. Shepard stayed in position as she took a quick glance around the room. Modern furnishings, Jessie on the large cube-like coffee table, a lush shag rug in the center of the lounge area, empty bottles of alcohol littered around on the various surfaces throughout the room. She looked back to Zaeed, who was leaning against the window with his forearm over his head. Slowly, Shepard went to his side. He was a hard man to read, and the unknown made her feel uneasy.

“Would you like me to leave?” Shepard asked. As much as Shepard was sure that Zaeed liked her to think that she was bothering him when she visited his quarters on the Normandy, he had never actually told her to leave. Not once. Not even that time when she had picked up Jessie and accidentally let a loose panel fall to the floor. Hell, he hadn't even _sworn_ at her then, and she'd seen him chew other people out for a lot less.

“No.” He grunted. Shepard nodded, then turned her gaze to the window. Sky-cars flew past at impossible speeds, and the neon lights of Silversun Strip had been turned up to full intensity in preparation for the oncoming night cycle of the Citadel. To her left, she could faintly make out a sign for Tiberius Towers.

“I've got an apartment at Tiberius. You should come and see it. I'm... I'm going to be throwing a house-warming party soon.” Shepard said quietly. Zaeed nodded; his forehead making soft thuds against the thick glass.

“Yeah, alright.” He said. Shepard shifted her weight onto her left foot. An indeterminable amount of minutes passed before Shepard straightened.

“I'm going to leave. I'll... I'll send you the details for the party. I know Garrus would like to see you again, too. Also I think he's planning on talking your ear off about some scope that he got at the-”

“Don't. Don't leave.” Zaeed said as he tilted his head to look at her. The neon lights reflected in his cloudy eye and across his scarred face in a way that Shepard found visually pleasing. She'd always found his scars and eye interesting; she thought that he was very handsome for someone who had been shot in the face.

Zaeed snorted.

“What?” Shepard said in confusion. Her eyes widened when she realised she'd said her last thought out loud.

“You're pretty good looking for a woman that got spaced.” Zaeed said as he pushed back from the window and turned to face her.

“I didn't mean to say th-”

“'S alright, Shepard. People have said worse.” Zaeed said as he used his hand to motion towards the couch nearest to them. Shepard nodded and complied, and sighed as she sank into the soft material. Zaeed shuffled over to the kitchen area and opened the fridge. Shepard watched as he took out a bottle of what she assumed was asari wine, then picked up two glasses from an overhead rack and made his way back to the lounge.

“I think it tastes like poison, but you'll probably like it.” Zaeed shrugged as he set the glasses down (as far away from Jessie as possible, Shepard noticed) and poured both of them a drink.

“A little poison never hurt anyone, remember?” Shepard grinned, and Zaeed brought a hand up to his forehead at the memory of the situation that warranted that statement from him.

“Yeah, I remember. Vakarian was so worried about you it looked like his face flaps were gonna fall off.” Zaeed said with a toothy grin. Shepard laughed as she leant forward to take her glass.

“You weren't worried?” She asked as she settled back against the couch. Zaeed shook his head as he walked around the coffee table to sit next to her.

“Nah, I knew you'd be fine. Told Vakarian that I'd seen you do twenty ryncols and still be able to get up on the bar at Afterlife and try to shake your ass, so you'd be alright in an hour or so.” Shepard grinned and shook her head.

“I still deny that happened.” Shepard said.

“Well, I think Aria T'Loak can remind you.” Zaeed smirked, and Shepard visibly cringed.

“Last week I went out for drinks with Jack and I woke up with my head in her lap.”

“ _Jack's?_ ” Zaeed spluttered in surprise.

“No, Aria's!” Shepard grinned, and Zaeed stared at her in disbelief.

“That was my face exactly.” Shepard said as she took a sip of her drink. It was extremely sweet, but not entirely unpleasant, so she took a second. Zaeed watched her with a very faint smile.

“You know you're welcome back on board any time.” Shepard said as she kicked off her shoes and brought one leg up underneath her. Zaeed frowned and looked into the drink in his lap.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks Shepard.” Shepard nodded and took another sip.

“So, uh, what have you been up to? Didn't have much time to talk in the docking bay today.” Shepard said, trying to keep the conversation going. Zaeed was obviously struggling with something, and if he didn't want to talk about it, she wasn't going to sit there and watch him stew in his emotions. If she wanted to do that, she could've just sat in the observation lounge with Kaidan back on the Normandy.

“A few contracts, here and there. Same old. Popped a few Cerberus assholes when they tried to take the Citadel a couple weeks back.” Zaeed looked proud as he spoke.

“Killed a few Blue Suns that were trying to restart the whole thing, too.”

“What?”

“Yeah, they were trying to recruit in Dark Star Lounge. Fucking idiots.” Zaeed shook his head.

“I thought with Vido gone, no one would even think of trying to start that whole clusterfuck up again.” Shepard said as she leant towards Zaeed slightly.

“Neither did I, but they weren't the smartest bunch.” Zaeed shrugged. They sat in silence for a few moments, both staring into their violet coloured wine.

“I'm sorry if I was... too forward earlier.” Shepard said. Zaeed slowly lifted his head to look at her, but didn't speak; instead giving her that neutral expression that gave nothing away and had infuriated her ever since she'd seen it for the first time.

“Anyway, it's nice to just sit here with you. It feels like forever since I've seen you.” Shepard continued, somewhat shakily. Zaeed nodded. Shepard let out a small sigh; maybe they weren't as compatible as she hoped.

“Ah, shit.” Zaeed said at Shepard's sigh.

“Look at us, like a pair of teenage twats too nervous to make out 'cause someone's parents are home.”

“ _Are_ your parents here?” Shepard grinned, and Zaeed shook his head as he leant forward to place his glass on the table. He turned back and reached for Shepard's. She watched him with a questioning expression as he took it and set it on the coffee table next to his.

“Come here, love.” Zaeed said as he sat back and patted his thigh. Shepard raised a brow and fought the urge to laugh. That was such a Zaeed thing to say. She swallowed her words and stood up, then made her way to stand in front of Zaeed. She'd started wearing her armoured tunic instead of her BDU's on the Citadel after the Cerberus coup, and she would be lying if she said she hadn't noticed some of the looks that it had got her, but none of them compared to the look of complete hunger that Zaeed was staring up at her with. She smiled as she slowly lowered herself onto his lap; her knees either side of his hips and her hands on his shoulders. She took her weight off of her legs and settled into his lap, and she grinned when she felt his erection underneath her. His hands slid up her thighs before gripping her hips.

“This is an Alliance patrol! Pull over your vehicle immediately!” A robotic voice blared from outside the window, and Shepard looked past Zaeed to see two sky-cars zoom past, followed closely by a car with blue flashing lights.

“Alliance assholes.” Zaeed mumbled, and Shepard looked back to him. He had the decency to look mildly bashful as she frowned at him.

“Weren't you in the Alliance once?” Shepard asked. She'd prodded him on the subject before, but he'd never given her any information. It was a dirty tactic to ask whilst she was seated on his hard length, but she had never been above playing dirty.

“Yeah, for about two months when I was eighteen until they kicked me out.” Zaeed said roughly as he stroked her hips with his thumbs.

“For what?” Shepard said with a bemused smirk. His thumbs stopped moving and he looked up at her.

“Inappropriate relations with a commanding officer.” Shepard stared at him for a moment, then threw her head back and laughed. She laughed until she started coughing, and then she started laughing again when Zaeed started slapping her back in an attempt to help her breathe.

“Funny, is it?” He said when she had regained her composure.

“Considering our current situation, it is.” Shepard gently ground against his lap to emphasise the situation. Zaeed's eyes closed slightly as she did so.

“You're not my commanding officer any more.” Zaeed replied as he resumed his ministrations on her hips.

“Is that why you never responded to my flirting? Or were you just not interested?” Shepard frowned.

“Are you even interested now, or just doing this for the hell of it?” Zaeed's forehead crinkled as he looked up at her in offence at her suggestion.

“I didn't respond to your terrible attempts at flirting because I thought you were just fucking about.” He replied in a low voice.

“My terrible...? I wasn't fucking about, Zaeed.” Shepard slid one hand around Zaeed's neck to stroke the base of his skull.

“Yeah, well should've just come right out and said so.”

“Well, you should've... you should've...” Thankfully, it seemed Zaeed had had enough of her talking, and she no longer needed to think about a smartass response as he slid his hands up to her shoulder blades and pulled her down towards him. Their mouths met again, and Shepard kissed him as passionately as she had fantasised about doing. Zaeed let out small groans when she moved her hips against him, and she whimpered as she felt her already soaking panties sticking to her sensitive skin inside of her tight pants.

Zaeed gently pushed her away to look up at her.

“What is-” Shepard let out an undignified gasp as Zaeed slid his hands under her ass, then stood up. She clung to him as he started walking towards the hallway next to the kitchen.

“If you want to do this, we're not doing it on the bloody couch.” Zaeed mumbled as he carried her towards what Shepard assumed was going to be his bedroom. Shepard yelped as her elbow smashed into a door frame.

“Sorry.” Zaeed said sincerely as he continued to carry her into the dimly lit room. He stopped, then leant forward and gently placed Shepard down on what felt like a bed. Zaeed took a few steps back, then disappeared back into the hallway. Shepard propped herself up on her elbows and glanced around his room. Like the living area, it was clean and tidy, except for a few randomly placed empty bottles and a disassembled rifle on top of a chest of drawers opposite the bed.

“Thought you might want this.” Zaeed said as his silhouette stepped back into the room, his arm extended out and her glass in hand. Shepard noticed that he had removed the large piece of shoulder armour that he usually wore. She shook her head.

“No. I just want you.” Shepard said in what she hoped was a seductive tone. Zaeed studied her for a moment, then put the glass on the chest of drawers. He walked back to the end of the bed, and stood between Shepard's parted legs. The slight part in the curtains allowed a neon blue stream of light into the room, and it illuminated Zaeed's silhouette. Her heart was beating insanely fast in her chest, and she could feel her skin flushing with colour in anticipation of what was to come.

“Do's and dont's?” He asked as he leant forward and placed both palms on either side of her hips. Shepard frowned briefly in thought.

“Nothing overly full on. No water sports, that kind of thing.” Shepard grinned, and Zaeed snorted.

“Do I look like the type of man that wants to piss on women?” He asked.

“No, but you never know.” She gave him a lopsided grin, and he rolled his eye.

“Anything else?” He leant down and placed a kiss against the side of her neck, then lifted his head up to watch her. It took a moment for Shepard to gather her thoughts as she was momentarily distracted by the heat that his action had sent to her core.

“Um, no anal penetration. At least not the first time.” Zaeed raised an eyebrow.

“Not the second or third, either. That's strictly reserved for special occasions.” Shepard added, and Zaeed frowned.

“What's a special occasion, then?” He asked before leaning down to place another kiss against the opposite side of her neck. Shepard laughed.

“Disappointed, are you?”

“Don't think you could disappoint, Shepard.”

“Oh?” She said as she ran her hands down his back. Her fingers snagged on armour and a gun holster, and she gave up, instead moving her hands out to her sides to stroke the arms that were either side of her body. Zaeed grunted in a non-committal response.

“A man of few words, huh? I can respect that.” Shepard teased, and Zaeed responded by dipping his head into the crook of her neck and nipping at her exposed flesh. Shepard bucked her hips up against him and gasped.

“Anything else?” His lips brushed against her ear as he spoke, and she bit her lip to stop an embarrassingly loud moan from escaping.

“No. You?” She panted.

“Same as you.” He mumbled before nipping at her earlobe.

“So I can touch your ass on special occasions?” Shepard joked breathily. Zaeed nipped her earlobe again; much harder this time.

“I'll take that as a maybe.” Shepard grinned, and Zaeed groaned.

“Bloody hell, Shepard, can't you just stop joking for one second? I'm trying to concentrate.” Zaeed said as he held himself above her.

“Oh. I'm sorry.” Zaeed was glaring at her. Shepard resisted the urge to make another joke.

“What's a 'do' for you, then?” Shepard asked instead as she raised a hand to lightly trace the deep scar on his chin. When he didn't answer, she let her fingertips wander over the scars on his cheek.

“I... I dunno.” He finally said. Shepard stilled her fingers and caught his gaze. He cleared his throat.

“What about you?” Shepard moved her hands to his chest, then pushed him off to the side, then climbed atop him to straddle him.

“Anything that's not a don't.” Seeing Zaeed under her was making her already aching cunt throb with desire. She'd wanted to fuck some respect for authority into him ever since she'd met him, and the thought that she was finally going to do it made her legs feel weak.

“Yeah, same.” Zaeed said as he gripped her thighs. Shepard moved her hips slightly, and she grinned at the way Zaeed's breath hitched.

“Do we... do we need to use anything?” Zaeed said. Shepard shook her head.

“I've had the shot and I'm clean. Are you?” She asked as she rested her palms over his pecs. He snorted softly.

“What? Don't believe me?”

“Nah, I believe you sweetheart. Wasn't laughing at that.” Zaeed's eyes flitted away from hers, and Shepard thought that he almost looked self conscious.

“It's... it's just been a while, Shepard.” Zaeed said quietly, confirming Shepard's suspicions. She slid a hand up to his jawline to tilt his face back to face her.

“Yeah, me too.” Shepard confessed. There was Kaidan before Ilos and then... nothing. It wasn't that she hadn't tried; there had just been so much to do, and whenever they had shore leave, Garrus or James had fed her so many shots that she couldn't even speak a coherent sentence, let alone pick up.

“I bet it's been longer for me.” Zaeed said.

“I don't know, it's been a pretty long time for me.” Zaeed snorted and shook his head.

“How long, then?” Shepard asked softly. Zaeed stared at her for a moment.

“No one's interested in a face like this.” Shepard struggled to keep her expression nonchalant.

“Twenty years? Yeah right, Zaeed. I've seen you get lap dances at Omega, remember.” Shepard said as she leant back and folded her arms. Zaeed tilted his head and looked toward the curtains.

“Oh. You're not joking. I'm sorry.” Shepard cringed. His head snapped back to look at her.

“I'll pay for a lap-dance because I don't want to forgot how a woman feels against me, but I ain't paying a prostitute to pretend she wants me.” Shepard swallowed, then nodded slowly.

“Fair enough.” Her throat felt as dry as the atmosphere in the room. She mentally cursed herself; why couldn't she just shut the fuck up for once in her life instead of ruining everything? She moved to lift herself off Zaeed, but he grabbed her wrists.

“Don't leave. Please.” Shepard nodded, but his grip tightened again when he felt her beginning to move away.

“Let go. I'm not leaving, I just... trust me?” Shepard said, and Zaeed slowly let go of her wrists. She shimmied backwards off the bed until she was standing, and Zaeed propped himself up on his elbows to watch her with an uncertain expression. She let her hands drift up to the zipper at the front of her tunic, then looked back to Zaeed, who nodded for her to continue. Her eyes moved down his body; over his chest and then down to the very obvious bulge in his pants before they settled on her zipper. Even though it was somewhat a relief that he hadn't been with anyone for a while either, she was still nervous about her performance. She blinked, cleared her mind, then slowly pulled the zipper down. She could feel Zaeed's eyes focused solely on her as she slipped the tunic off and let it fall to the floor. She made eye contact with him, and he held it for a moment before turning his attention back to her body. His undivided attention renewed her confidence, and she turned around. She reached behind her back and undid the clasp of her black satin bra, and let it fall to the floor next to her tunic. Her hands moved to the zipper on her pants, and she undid that just as slowly. She was certain that Zaeed was going to shout at her to goddamn hurry the fuck up any second, but he stayed silent. She hooked her thumbs into the top of her pants, then bent forward as she slid them down just as slowly as she had undone her zippers. When her pants fully revealed her ass, she heard Zaeed groan softly. She grinned; she'd brought a matching satin thong to go with the bra, and it seemed like it was producing the desired reaction. She stepped out of her pants, then straightened before slowly turning around to face Zaeed. Even in the poor lighting, she could see that his cheeks were flushed slightly darker than the rest of his face, and his lips were parted slightly.

“God- _dammit_ , Shepard.” He whispered as his eyes roamed across newly revealed skin. Shepard walked over to the end of the bed; putting an extra sway into her hips as she did so. She could feel just how wet she was with every step she took. She stopped when her knees hit the bed between Zaeed's legs.

“Fucking beautiful.” Zaeed mumbled as he stared at her bare breasts. Shepard grinned again; she had relatively small breasts when they weren't in a push-up bra, so it was nice to see that they were appreciated.

“I think you're _very_ overdressed, Massani.” Shepard purred as she leant forward to grab the neckline of his shirt. She pulled him up to a sitting position, and he smiled smugly at her.

“Take it off.” She commanded as she took a step back. With no small amount of fumbling, Zaeed removed his shirt. Shepard hummed in approval as his tattooed and surprisingly muscular chest was revealed. Zaeed opened his mouth to speak, but was stopped when Shepard pushed him back down onto the bed. She knelt at the foot of the bed and reached up to undo his belt, letting her forearms brush against his hard bulge as she did so. She had just managed to unhook to clasp when Zaeed placed one of his hands over hers.

“I'm not the man that you deserve, Shepard.”

“Shut _up_ , Zaeed. I'm trying to fuck you, not marry you.” Shepard said as she tried to resume undressing him. His hand gripped hers.

“Shepard. I mean it. You can do better then me.” He was looking at the ceiling. Shepard frowned.

“I want you. I don't give a fuck about doing better. To me, you're as good as it gets.” Shepard meant it. Even though Zaeed was bat-shit insane and did a fucktonne of questionable things (Shepard couldn't judge him on those things; if she did, she would be a giant hypocrite), he was a decent man, and she found him extremely attractive.

“You don't believe that, do you?” Zaeed sat up on his elbows again so he could look at her.

“Yeah, I do.” Shepard said as she rested her elbows on his thighs. She sighed and rested her cheek in her hand.

“I'm going to go, ok? This whole thing is clearly making you very uncomfortable.” Shepard stood, then walked back over to the pile of clothes that she had abandoned earlier. She bent down to pick them up, but was pulled back up and spun around.

“Zae-” He was kissing her harder than she ever thought possible, and his blunt nails were digging into her back with such force that she was sure he was drawing blood. Her hands moved between their bodies and she tore off his belt and flung it behind her. It made a metallic thud as it hit a piece of furniture, but neither of them stopped to assess the damage. Shepard gripped the top of his pants and pushed them down. Zaeed sidestepped slightly to get out of them, then Shepard slid her hand between his thighs. Her eyebrows shot up when she cupped bare flesh instead of underwear covered flesh like expected, and she could've sworn that Zaeed smiled as he was kissing her. They fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, and Zaeed moved on top of her. He broke the kiss as he moved off the bed. They looked at each other for a moment; both panting and flushed, before Zaeed grabbed Shepard's thighs and pulled her to the edge of the bed. He pushed her thighs together before grabbing her underwear and roughly pulling it off her. Shepard gasped as he pushed her thighs apart again to expose her bare cunt to him. He let out a small growl before dropping to his knees and sliding his hands under her backside to pull her sex against his mouth. He ran his tongue and lips over her with so much enthusiasm and skill that Shepard briefly doubted his claim that he hadn't been with anyone for two decades, but her mind was wiped blank of any coherent thoughts when he slid a finger inside of her. Her hands fisted in the sheets and she let out a hoarse moan as he pumped his digit in and out of her as the tip of his tongue slid over her clit. She watched the perfect sight of his head moving between her legs until the pleasure was overwhelming and she had to lay back.

“Mmmm.” Zaeed groaned against her in appreciation as he worked, and Shepard arched her back as his free hand angled her up more and his finger reached the extremely sensitive spot inside of her, that when combined with clitoral stimulation, made her come almost instantaneously. She felt her orgasm building quickly, and she untangled one hand from the sheets to rake her nails over Zaeed's scalp. Her moans were short and quick, and Zaeed seemed to have not forgotten what those sounds meant as he sped up his finger and tongue. Shepard practically howled as she came, and Zaeed groaned as he felt her inner walls clench around his finger. He kept going until he felt her body relax, and only then did he slowly remove his finger. He kept lapping at her with his tongue, determined to taste her properly. Shepard moaned softly at the continued stimulation; she was still throbbing from her orgasm and every time Zaeed flattened his tongue against her opening and dragged it upwards and let it penetrate her slightly, fresh jolts of pleasure caused her to tremble.

“ _Fuck_ , Zaeed.” Shepard said breathlessly as she moved her hand through his hair to grip the back of his neck and pull him up. When he finally relented, he was grinning like a kid from a rich family on Christmas morning.

“Yeah, yeah, twenty years and you've still got it. Come here.” Shepard rolled her eyes as she smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. He kissed her; softer this time, and she trembled again when he slid his talented tongue inside of her mouth. Shepard didn't think it was possible to become any more aroused than she already was, but the taste of him mixed with her fluid made her see stars even though her eyes were closed.

“Your turn.” Shepard said as she moved her mouth away from his and pushed him onto his back beside her. She resumed Zaeed's earlier position, and raised her brows in surprise as she finally got a proper look at his cock.

“.. Oh.” Shepard said after a moment. It was a relatively average size, but impressively thick.

“Alright?” Zaeed asked in concern as he got up on his elbows again.

“Definitely alright.” Shepard said as she slid a hand around the base of it. Zaeed swore as he tilted his head back. Shepard leant forward, then slowly slid her hand up and down. She repeated the motion, but when her hand slid down, she let her mouth follow. Zaeed dropped onto his back, and Shepard watched as his chest rose and fell heavily each time she fucked him with her mouth. She moved her free hand underneath her chin to firmly cup his balls, and Zaeed swore again as he reached down to hold onto Shepard's shoulder.

“Stop! Fucking hell, _stop_.” Zaeed shouted, and Shepard pulled back immediately, concerned that she had hurt him. She looked up at him with wide, apologetic eyes.

“I'm going to blow like a first timer if you keep doing that.” He said as he looked down at her through heavily lidded eyes.

“Fuck, Zaeed, I thought I'd hurt you!” Shepard said as she placed a hand over her heart in relief.

“Not even close, sweetheart.” Zaeed gave her a lopsided smile, and Shepard's heart began beating a little faster again. He reached a hand down towards her, and she took it and let him pull her on top of him. His erection pressed against her perineum, and she gasped when Zaeed gripped her hips and pushed her back slightly so that it instead pressed against her almost dripping entrance. Shepard glanced from between her legs up to Zaeed.

“I've wanted this for so long.” She whispered. Zaeed's face softened.

“Yeah, me too.” He replied. Shepard smiled at him and brought a hand up to stroke his cheek, then let it drop to grip his shoulder as her other hand held the base of his cock so she could guide it inside of her. She bit her lip at the sensation of him stretching her slightly, and she became slightly embarrassed at how long it was taking for her to adjust, even as relaxed as she was.

“You alright, love?” Zaeed asked. Shepard tilted her head up to look at him. It was surreal to be there on top of him as he asked her genuine words of concern. Sure, he'd mumbled inquiries about her health when they fought together, but this was intimate. She doubted that many people had seen this side of him, and she felt pride pool in her chest that she was privileged enough to be counted amongst them. She lowered her hips further, and a few seconds later, their hips met. They both groaned in pleasure, and Shepard rested her forehead against Zaeed's shoulder. He placed one hand on her tail bone and held the back of her neck with the other as he slowly tilted his hips upwards. They let out a synchronised moan again. Shepard rolled her hips, and Zaeed's grip on her tightened.

“ _Jesus fucking Christ_.” He growled in her ear, and Shepard tilted her head sideways so she could kiss his tattooed neck. Zaeed met her thrusts, and soon Shepard was riding him with a pace that brought her so much pleasure that she could hardly make a sound. When she finally managed to work out a moan, she only got half way through it before Zaeed flipped her onto the bed without separating them and kept thrusting into her. He leant back on his knees until only the tip of his cock was inside of Shepard, and slid his hands under her thighs. Shepard watched with heavily lidded eyes as Zaeed pushed her thighs back until her knees were touching her shoulders. She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a throaty moan as Zaeed leant forward against the back of her legs and slid the entirety of his length back inside of her. Shepard let out a mixture of incoherent curses and words of encouragement as he slammed into her with reckless abandon. She was so wet that she could her him smacking into her with each thrust, and the sound made her clench her inner walls subconsciously. Zaeed swore again, and his pace faltered for a second at the extra stimulation.

“Open your eyes. Look at me.” Zaeed said gruffly, and Shepard complied.

“I'm gonna come.” He stammered, and Shepard nodded slightly; too lost in the throes of pleasure to speak.

“Are you?” Zaeed panted, and Shepard shook her head. Zaeed frowned, and let go of her leg. He pressed a finger to her clitoris, and rubbed it from side to side.

“Yes!” Shepard corrected as she struggled to keep her eyes open. She felt dizzy as another orgasm built inside of her. Zaeed grinned, and snapped his hips against her over and over in perfect synch with his finger, and in less than a minute, Shepard was screaming his name. Zaeed's thrusts became more erratic, and he shouted something incoherent as he filled her. Shepard's inner walls were throbbing around him, and she let out a softer moan as he gently pulled out of her. He stepped back off the bed and leant forward to grab her ankles, then brought her legs back down. When he was satisfied that Shepard was in a comfortable position, he lay back on the bed beside her. The sound of the sky-cars buzzing past Zaeed's did little to drown out their ragged breathes, and it was many minutes before either of them had calmed down enough to be able to speak.

“Fuck.” Zaeed said.

“ _Fuck_.” Shepard agreed. She turned her head to face him, and they both grinned at each other. Shepard turned her head back and laughed. Zaeed frowned, but he soon joined her with his own deep laughter. Eventually, they stopped and fell back into a comfortable silence. Zaeed scooted up the bed to rest his head on the pillows, and tapped Shepard's arm to get her to follow. When they had adjusted to their more comfortable position, Shepard rolled onto her side and moved closer to Zaeed. He glanced down at her then lifted up his arm so she could curl up against his side. She flung her leg over his thigh and pressed her breasts into his side, then closed her eyes. Neither of them spoke, and eventually, they both fell into dreamless sleep.

****

Shepard rolled onto her side and frowned as what felt like a piece of paper crinkled underneath her back. She reached under her body to grab it, and opened her eyes slightly to squint at the message written in neat, cursive script.

_Had a job I needed to get to. Don't know when I'll be back, but you're welcome to stay as long as you please. I'm sure you need a break from those tightass Alliance types anyway. Door code is 2185 if you need to leave._  
 _-Z_

Shepard tossed the piece of paper over the side of the bed and rubbed her eyes as she wondered if he did actually have a job, or if he was just so awkward that he'd left in the hopes that she would leave. Either way, she wasn't going to infringe on his space any longer. She knew that Zaeed was a man who liked his space, and she wasn't going to stay unless he asked her to (suggesting she could stay if _she wanted to_ sounded like a comment made out of politeness). She rolled out of bed and cringed at the dried out mess on her thighs that was making her skin itch. She glanced towards the door to the left of the room that she assumed led into his bathroom, but she bent down to pick up her clothes instead, deciding that she would shower back at her apartment. She got dressed lazily, and shuffled out of Zaeed's bedroom and into the living area to find her shoes. She flopped onto the couch, then reached forward with a sigh to grab them and pull them on. She winced as she got back off the couch; before she had fallen asleep she had hoped for a morning repeat of the previous night, but the way her body currently ached made her somewhat glad that Zaeed had left. She dragged herself towards the door, and put in the code, then quickly opened the door and left before the alarm reactivated itself. She leant against the closed door for a brief moment, and a passing asari glared at her. Shepard grinned when the asari had passed; she could only imagine how unkempt her hair and makeup currently was. With another sigh, she pushed off from the door and made her way back to the Normandy.

****

“Who the hell is that?” Shepard wondered aloud as the buzzer for her apartment door rang. She got up from the floor and left James and Garrus to argue over whether the mod that Garrus had picked up would work better on Shepard's Carnifex or her Vindicator. She opened the door, and raised an eyebrow at the fragrant, colourful garden that greeted her.

“Shepard? Commander Shepard? These are for you.” A female of as of yet undetermined appearance said from somewhere behind the extravagant flower arrangement.

“From who?” Shepard asked as she folded her arms and stuck out her hip.

“There's a card at the front, if you could just-” The flowers jutted towards her, and Shepard plucked the red envelope from a slot in the front of the silver box that held the flowers. It was hand written in a familiar cursive script.

_A goddamn classy flower arrangement for a goddamn classy lady. Sorry for skipping out on you – the job was a bust. Should've stayed in bed._  
 _\- Z_

“Who is it?” James called from behind her.

“Ma'am, if you could please take these, they're _really_ heavy!” The exasperated mystery person said. Shepard stepped forward to relieve her of the bouquet.

“Thank you.” Shepard turned to the side to see a young, dark haired human girl wiping her brow.

“Thank _you_.” Shepard said in return as she inspected the flowers.

“No problem. Enjoy.” The delivery girl waved her hand and left. Shepard stood in the doorway for a moment, staring at the arrangement in shock.

“Oh, one guess who sent her _those_.” Garrus said, before erupting into roaring laughter along with James. Shepard ignored their teasing, and leant forward to sniff a vibrant purple flower. It smelt beautiful, but there was only one scent that she found absolutely _heavenly_.


	2. Chapter 2

“ _God-damn it!_ ” Zaeed growled as he unclipped his shoulder armour and shook it to get rid of the chunk of skin that had stubbornly stuck to it. He knew he should've stayed in bed. He'd had a beautiful woman in his bed (naked, at that) and he'd still gone to try and claim a bounty on a wanted fugitive that only promised a thousand credits. Well, a thousand if the fugitive was brought in alive. Zaeed shot a distasteful glance at the heroin smuggler at his feet.

“You daft bastard. I wouldn't have shot ya.” Zaeed meant it. He'd been killing less and less and just bringing people to C-Sec and letting those smarmy bastards deal with them. As much as Zaeed joked about how much of an old man he was, he knew he wasn't that old, but he sure as shit felt old, and he was too tired to keep up his constant debauchery. He gave up on his shoulder plate, glaring at the offending piece of skin and resolving to clean it when he got home. He clipped it back onto his armour, and waited. A few minutes later, he heard the familiar sound of a C-Sec shuttle nearing closer to his location. He stepped over the corpse of the idiot that'd pulled a knife on him, and moved towards the platform that overlooked the Presidium Commons. He squinted as he scanned the area below for a slim woman in an armoured blue tunic and short, wavy black hair before he even had time to register that he was doing it. When he realised he was pining, he briefly squeezed his eyes shut to get the image of her perfect body laid out before him. The way she had spread her legs eagerly and...

“ _Shit_.” Zaeed muttered under his breath. He ran a hand through his hair as he stepped away from the ledge and made his way over to the C-Sec shuttle that had just landed next to his own sky-car.

“What happened?” A turian with bright yellow markings asked as he frowned at the organic matter stuck to Zaeed's shoulder plate. Corvus? Corvan? Bloody hell, what was his name?

“Picked up Mr George here's bounty. Tried to bring him in breathing like the notice asked for, but the crazy bastard pulled a knife and came straight at me.” Zaeed pointed to the sharp knife that was still clutched in George's hand; it's blade shining brightly in the artificial Citadel sunlight. The turian circled the body, then nodded.

“Not a big loss, in hindsight.” The turian said.

“Not at all.” Zaeed agreed. It wasn't enough that humans had infected Earth with that disgusting shit, they had to bring it to the Citadel, too? The rest of the offences the man was wanted for on the notice were of the sort of thing that Zaeed didn't like to think about, so he didn't. The man was just another scum-bag that didn't deserve any sympathy or regret.

“Need anything else?” Zaeed asked as he walked towards the turian, sidestepping a piece of what was probably brain matter as he did so.

“No, I'll call it in now. Report back to the office as soon as possible. Zirin will want a report from you, too.” Corvan. Now that Zaeed was closer, he could read the turian's name badge.

“Alright, mate.” Zaeed turned, gave a casual wave over his shoulder, and made his way over to his car. He'd have to go home and clean himself up before heading to the office. There weren't many people that frightened Zaeed, but Zirin was one of them, and if he dripped blood all over her freshly installed Thessian marbled flooring? She'd have his goddamn head.

****

He didn't allow himself to feel disappointment when he got home and found no sight of Shepard. _It's not necessarily regret, she's a busy woman,_ he told himself. He stepped into his shower fully clothed; it was the easiest way to clean his armour with the condition that it was in. A sudden idea pinged in the back off his mind, and he glanced around. No fresh towels had been taken out, and his was still in it's exact same position as where he had left it a few hours prior to his departure. Nothing in the bathroom had been disturbed; Shepard hadn't taken a shower before leaving. The thought of her usually immaculately made up self leaving with messy hair, smudged make-up, and his semen still dried to her thighs made him groan and steady himself with a hand against the cool tiled wall. He squeezed his eyes shut as he relived the memories of the night before.

 _I want to sleep with you._ He snorted. He'd thought it was a joke; hell, how could it not be? He'd seen her yank the strings of everyone back on the ship when he was there just for laughs. She'd especially yanked his; her visits to his room were just as infuriating as they were exciting. She'd waltz in like she owned the place (well, technically she did, but that didn't mean she had to fucking _act_ like it) and touched all of his stuff (including Jessie), drank his booze, and nicked his cigars before making some comment that would've turned his cheeks red if he hadn't been so determined not to let her get under his skin and waltzing back out again. Oh, but she had gotten under his skin. The first time he'd seen her, she'd had glowing red scars that seemed to tear across her face, and she'd walked with a slight limp and a grimace like she was in pain, and she was still the sexiest woman he'd ever seen in his entire life. Eventually, the scars had disappeared and her posture had become more intimidating than unsettling, and Zaeed had tried to distance himself as much as possible from her. Which, much to his regret, was damn near impossible, even on a ship as large as the Normandy. A memory replayed with complete clarity in his usually hazy mind.

“Zaeed, give me something to suck on.” She'd said in that velvety tone as she'd sidled up to him and patted down his pockets in the hopes of finding a cigar stashed in one of them. He'd kept his posture completely casual and his expression nonchalant, even though the feel of her small hands on his body had sent jolts of electricity straight to his cock.

“Haven't got any more. Those things'll kill you.” He'd growled, and she'd pouted her full lips and huffed in irritation.

“Well you'd better get some more, because I'm running out of excuses to come to your room.” She'd winked at him over her shoulder as she left, and Zaeed had gotten the AI to lock his door as soon as she left. He didn't even bother trying to make it to his bed; he'd pulled his hard cock out of his pants and stroked himself until he came into an old rag that he'd been polishing Jessie with. He'd been able to relax for a little while after that, but just when he thought she'd finally leave him alone now that he didn't have anything to offer, the AI informed him that Shepard was requesting entry into his room. He'd been thankful for the fact that he'd chosen to stay mostly dressed whilst he pleasured himself, and after a few brief seconds spent righting his zipper, he was decent enough to let her in.

“Where the fuck did you get those?” Zaeed had said with wide eyes when she'd waved two cigars in front of his face.

“Let's just say... there are things that go on down in the engineering sub-deck that Miranda would choke on her own breath if she found out about them.” Shepard had grinned and offered him one as she popped one in her own mouth. He'd stared at her full lips and wished that she was sucking on him and not a cancer stick. Zaeed groaned. Here he was again, jerking himself off to a woman who deserved better than just being some asshole's spank bank material. He opened his eyes and glared down at his painfully hard cock.

“No!” He growled as he pulled his hand from his cock and placed it next to his other hand that was still on the wall. No. Even if it was a once off, Shepard deserved some respect and appreciation, dammit. He'd been a complete shitbag in his younger days, but he'd always respected women, no matter how loose their morals were. He wasn't one to judge a woman for having the morals of most men, after all. Why should they be punished for just wanting to have some fun?

He decided that a gift would be the most appropriate way to show his appreciation for their night together. He squeezed his eyes shut again. _Shit_. What did she like? He couldn't send her cigars. Those things would kill her, and that'd be a damn shame. Perfume? Nah, Shepard always smelt nice. She was sorted in that department. Zaeed removed a hand from the wall to scratch at his wet scalp as he made a mental list of all the possible things that Shepard would like. He ruled out anything extravagant; she'd gone as red as a tomato when they'd all sung 'happy birthday' to her and wheeled a giant cake out that time. Flowers? She could put them in her new apartment. Zaeed sighed. Where was her new apartment? He'd have to get in contact with Vakarian; he didn't want to risk spoiling the surprise by asking Shepard. He finished up in the shower, then dried himself off and walked naked to his bedroom. He flopped lazily onto his bed, then brought up his omni tool and tapped out a quick message to Garrus. He waited what seemed like an eternity for a reply, and his eyes eventually drifted shut. Shepard had completely worn him out, and they'd only gone one round.

He fell asleep with a smirk on his face.

****

Zaeed sneezed into his shoulder. He hadn't even set foot in the damn florist, and he already had a runny nose and itchy eyes. _Shit_. Was Shepard allergic? Doubtful, that Lawson woman tried to build her just as perfect as she was (Zaeed rolled his eyes every time someone mentioned how perfect Miranda was; sure, she was lovely when she wasn't angry, but she and him had absolutely nothing in common), and Zaeed doubted that Shepard had been built susceptible to god-damn flowers. Confidence in his idea renewed, he pushed through his allergies and stomped into the small shop. The female turian at the counter looked up; her expression changing from surprised to alarmed at the sight of the burly human with the red face and sour expression standing in front of the counter.

“Sorry. I'm allergic.” Zaeed mumbled, and the turian reached for something behind the counter. In the time it took for Zaeed to blink, the turian had moved around the counter to hold a box of purple tissues to him.

“Thanks.” He said; his voice more nasal than usual, and he sniffed noisily.

“Not a problem. It happens to most people that come in here.” Zaeed quickly glanced for a name badge. _Sifa_. He really needed to start remembering names.

“Is there anything I can help you with, or would you just like to browse?” Zaeed wiped his nose, and took a glance around the shop as he did so. So many fucking _flowers_. They all looked nice, he supposed. How the hell was he going to pick a bouquet when all he could do was snot all over them?

“I think I need some help.” Zaeed admitted.

****

He walked out of the florist feeling confident with his choice. In the end, Zaeed decided on an asari arrangement that was just teetering on the edge between acceptable and extravagant. The scent was sweet, but not terribly overpowering, and he hoped that Shepard would like it. If she didn't? Well, that was eight hundred credits he might as well have wiped his ass with. He tried not to think about the little card he had sent along with them; the more he did, the more he wanted to burn it. The words sounded so damn pathetic when he repeated them constantly in his head.

He waved to Sifa over his shoulder (lovely, she was, maybe he'd tell Vakarian about her) with one hand while his other hand pocketed the loyalty card that Sifa had given to him. Zaeed didn't know what Shepard's plans were for the two of them, but if there was going to be more encounters, he'd damn well do his best to get all 8 boxes stamped so he could get her a free bouquet. He frowned; he was getting too far ahead of himself. No matter; if Shepard didn't want the flowers, maybe he'd by Zirin some and hope that it might butter her up enough to help dislodge the stick from her ass (he'd definitely tell Vakarian about Zirin – Vakarian had once been the King Of Ass-Sticks).

He started humming to himself, then cleared his throat and pretended to cough when a passing asari couple gave him an odd look. What was happening to him? He hadn't felt this light in years. Maybe Jack was right when she'd screamed at him that he was _"an angry old cunt that needed to get laid”_. Had he been this pleasant before he got half of his face shot off? He couldn't remember much before that; only glimpses of an uneventful childhood and even briefer glimpses of the debauchery that he got himself into during his late teen years. _Damn Vido_. At least that loose end had been tied up (with Shepard's help, of course – when she'd heard what the bastard had done to Zaeed, she'd ordered the Normandy straight to Zorya).

“Massani? Hey! Massani!” Zaeed turned and narrowed his eyes as he searched the crowd. Speak of the devil. Well, one of them, at least.

“Hey!” Jack said as she she bumped his knuckles with her own in greeting.

“Jack. How's it going?” Zaeed inconspicuously patted his pocket to make sure that no part of the florist’s loyalty card was showing; the biotic would've had a fucking field day with that one.

“Yeah, same old shit. I'm working for the Alliance now, helping them with some biotic kids. Don't give me that fucking _look_ , shithead!” Jack punched his shoulder playfully at the look of doubt on his face.

“Do their parents know about that, then?” Zaeed teased, and Jack rolled her eyes, but there was the faintest glimpse of a smile on her painted lips.

“Yeah, yeah.” Jack shot back. Zaeed smirked.

“What're you up to, anyway? Has Shepard tried to rope you in for another suicide mission?” Zaeed began walking in the direction of the C-Sec offices, and Jack kept pace at his side.

“I'm doing odd jobs for C-Sec.” He replied honestly. Jack snorted.

“Yeah, yeah.” Zaeed mimicked her tone, and Jack shook her head.

“And yeah, think she tried to, but I think my days on that ship are over. Too many Alliance assholes in one place for my liking.” Jack hummed in agreement.

“The day she goes pirate is the day the galaxy's gonna have to watch the fuck out.” Jack grinned as she gave him a sidelong glance.

“She's already got them on their toes.” Zaeed raised his eyebrows and looked at a billboard above the corridor they were about to walk into. Jack laughed.

“Shit. The fucking queen of the girl scouts, twenty feet tall.” They both stopped to admire (though neither would have ever admitted to each other that they were admiring it) the billboard that proudly displayed Shepard; posing with one hand up to display her biotic power, and an assault rifle in the other. It was obviously photo-shopped (Shepard would never pose for something like that), but the sight of the strongest woman he knew made twenty feet tall and looking all cocky and confident was undeniably arousing.

“Jesus fucking _Christ_ , Massani. You wanna pick your jaw up off the floor? The volus are gonna trip over it.” Jack waved her hand towards a pair of volus that were trying to skirt around Jack and Zaeed, who were blatantly blocking the corridor. Zaeed stepped a few centimetres to his left to give them the extra room they needed. The short aliens nodded as they passed. Both Jack and Zaeed looked back up at the Alliance recruitment billboard.

“Think she's seen it?” Jack asked. Zaeed snorted.

“Not if it's still up there.” Zaeed answered, and Jack laughed.

“Well, I've gotta get going. I've got a fucktonne of paperwork. You going to Shepard's house-warming?” Jack asked as she readjusted her satchel bag's straps on her shoulder.

“Yeah. See you then.” The two tattooed humans shook hands, then Jack was heading back into the crowd behind him.

“Excuse me!” Zaeed turned around to see another volus staring up at him; it's little hands on it's hips in irritation at Zaeed's unintentional blockade.

“Bloody hell!”

****

“Well look who finally decided to show up!” Zaeed waved off Valy, Zirin's smart ass asari receptionist, and made his way through the corridors to his small office. He took a seat, and booted up his terminal. He worked until the report was done (trying desperately to block images of Shepard's body out of his mind and only just narrowly succeeding), then sent it straight to Zirin. He sighed in relief as he turned his terminal off, then began to rise from his chair. Paperwork was a pain in the arse, no matter if it was done on actual paper or a terminal, and he had a headache.

“Massani?” Zirin asked as she stuck her head into the office; a stance that indicated she only needed to see him quickly.

“Ma'am?” He replied, half prepared for a lecture about how long it had taken him to get back to the office.

“I've just sent you a bounty notice. Dramir says that his scouts have seen the bounty on the third arm.” Zaeed struggled to hold back a sigh. It had been a long time since he'd worked for anyone but himself, and he was still struggling with it even though he'd been there for almost a year, and he hated having to do things at someone else's order. He just wanted to go home and have a beer, god-damnit.

“I'll get right on it.” Zaeed said with as much enthusiastic gusto as he could manage. Zirin narrowed her brow plates at him, and her mandibles flared slightly. He still hadn't figured out what that meant.

“Excellent.” Zirin said somewhat sarcastically before pulling her head out of the doorway and slamming his door shut. Zaeed released a sigh in the privacy of his own company and mashed the terminal's on button with his palm. He rested his elbows on his desk and pressed his face into his palms. Ever since he'd spotted that damn billboard, all he could think about was the fact that the smirk that photo-shopped billboard Shepard had was the _exact_ same one that Shepard had when she was going down on him.

“God- _damn_.”

****

“But we're gonna get smoked out!” Dramir yelled over the gunfire; his four batarian eyes already watery from the flash-bangs that they'd only just managed to avoid taking the full brunt of.

“We're already fucking smoked out!” Zaeed shouted as an overhead bullet almost grazed his hair. Dramir glared at him, then shook his head and pulled the pin from his grenade and threw it over the crate they were hiding behind and brought his hands up to cover his ears. Zaeed did the same, and waited until the ground stopped shaking beneath them to move them away. Zaeed and Dramir glanced at each other, before slowly peeking around the sides of their cover. Four huge krogan bodies were distinguishable on the ground, even in the plume of extra smoke that the grenade had caused.

“Shit. Zirin's gonna be pissed at you.” Dramir said.

“Why?”

“First you killed a bounty that was supposed to be brought in alive, and now-”

A deafening boom sounded overhead, and the two men looked up.

“What the f...” Zaeed slowly stood from cover as he squinted.

“What the fuck was that?” Dramir asked; the batarian equally perplexed. Zaeed scratched his head. He could've sworn that he'd just seen the distinctive shape of the Normandy fly overhead.

“I think those flash-bangs did a number on us. We'd better get to Huerta.” Zaeed grunted. Dramir narrowed his eyes for a moment, then nodded in agreement.

“Officer Dramir reporting in. Bounty number six four nine eight put up resistance and is now deceased, along with three other henchmen that became hostile. We need a clean up at our current location.” The batarian said quickly into his comm piece.

“Again? Shit. Zirin will-” Zaeed rolled his eye as Valy's high pitched voice synced through to his own comm line.

“Just file the report, Valy.” Dramir sighed.

“Whatever. Enjoy your ass kicking later!” The two men shot each other a pained look before readjusting their armour and heading to Huerta.

****

Zaeed stared at the vidscreen that overlooked the waiting area in Huerta; brows furrowed intensely as he listened to the news report.

“A clone? I thought they banned that shit under the Intergalactic Ethics Agreement.” Dramir said as he slumped further down in his chair.

“Think Cerberus gives a shit about ethics?” Zaeed rasped.

“Nah. I guess not.” Dramir replied before bringing his hand up to poke at a laceration on his chin. The batarian paused when an elegant asari wandered past them and up to the reception desk.

On one hand, Zaeed was relieved that he had actually seen the Normandy. It meant that he probably didn't have a concussion. On the other hand, the news story had made him feel ill in the pit of his stomach. What would have happened if Shepard hadn't killed the clone? What if the clone killed Shepard, and took her place on the Normandy where no one would have been any wiser? He huffed a sigh through his nose and tilted his head back to rest against the wall behind his chair. Did it make him a selfish asshole to think about how if a clone were to take Shepard's place, he'd never get to sleep with her again? Surely her finding him attractive was a genetic defect that Cerberus would've at least had the sense to erase in her double?

“Massani and Brishan?” A red headed doctor called, and Zaeed was forced to tear his gaze away from the constant flood of images of Shepard and the damage caused around the Citadel that flashed across the vidscreen.

“Not bad looking, for a human.” Dramir mumbled as he rose from his chair. Zaeed shot him a venomous glare that completely deterred the batarian from venturing any further into the topic of Commander Shepard.

****

“You served on the Normandy, didn't you?” Dramir asked on the way back to the office. Zaeed groaned; it seemed he hadn't indefinitely deterred any questions about Shepard.

“Yeah.” Zaeed replied shortly.

“What was it like? Going through the Omega Four relay?” The mention of the infamous relay caused a few sideways glances from turians they passed.

“Fucking terrifying.” Zaeed rasped.

“Were you there when Shepard had to destroy the Bahak relay too?” Zaeed stopped and frowned at his batarian colleague. Zaeed had seen the media shit storm that destroying the relay had caused. At the time, he hoped that the Alliance had restricted Shepard's media privileges so that she didn't have to see it. She'd been torn apart every which way to Sunday, and the things they had said about her were completely brutal. The things the angry batarians wanted to do to her for retribution were just as brutal. Dramir held up his palms in a gesture of peace.

“Hey, I'm not angry. Well, I was at the time, but with everything going on now proving her right, well... she did what she had to do, I guess.” Zaeed eyed him intently for a moment.

“No. I left the Normandy just before all that shit went down. Most of the crew cut ties with Cerberus and went their separate ways. That enough information for you, or do you want her and every other crew member's fucking life story too?” Dramir's eyes widened slightly and he took a step back from Zaeed before shaking his head quickly.

Zaeed shook his head, then turned to resume on his path to the office. Although he would never admit it to anyone but himself, he'd defend her to the death.

****

“... and if angering the krogans wasn't enough, I've got to deal with all of this fucking damage to the third arm!” Zirin threw her hands up in the air as her sub-vocals growled. Dramir and Zaeed shot each other a weary sidelong glance before Zirin launched into another angry tirade.

“... calling for both of your heads, and then mine too if I don't hand you two idiots over! What in the _fuck_ were you thinking? I should...” Zaeed tuned out completely. Yeah, yeah, get it all out so I can fuck off out of here, he thought as he held eye contact with Zirin to make it seem like he was paying attention to the scolding he was receiving. He'd always had a good poker face.

“... if you two were paid enough, I'd take the damages out of your wages! I've got to pull strings from fucking Tevos to get the-” Zaeed held back an eye roll. Fucking councillors; they were all useless twats. Sure, even he'd been a little skeptical of Shepard's claims when the news networks started to get a hold of vids of Shepard screaming at the council all those years ago, but as time went on, even he could clearly see that she was telling the truth, and he only had one eye.

“... and what did I tell you about grenade usage in civilian areas, Massani? I thought that we had that issue cleared up after-”

A memory flitted through Zaeed's mind.

“Next time, we save the civilians.” Shepard had growled as she jabbed a finger into the center of his chest. He'd given her a steady stare, then nodded his agreement. Shepard had sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair.

“Do you feel better, at least? Now that Vido's a pile of ash on the ground?” Her weary eyes had focused on him like he was the only other thing that existed in the entire galaxy to her as she waited for his answer.

“Yeah.” He'd replied after a few moments. Shepard had sighed again.

“Well, good, I guess. Get some rest, alright? We've gotta help Thane with something tomorrow.” Shepard had waved her hand in the air, then walked towards the door. She stopped just short of it, and found his eyes with hers.

“Goodnight, Zaeed.” Zaeed had been left speechless by how soft her voice had sounded, so he had just nodded to her. Her brows had pinched in the middle; then she frowned before leaving without another word, even though he had been sure that there had been a great deal more that she had wanted to say.

“... Massani, are you even listening to me? For spirit's sake. Brishan, you sure he hasn't got a concussion? He's a fucking liability if he's doing jobs with a concu- _Massani!_ Where are you going?” Zirin screeched as Zaeed turned and made his way to the tempered glass door of Zirin's office.

“ _Massani!_ Massani, you walk out that door, and don't ever-” The door shut behind him; muffling whatever Zirin said next. He didn't have to hear it to know how that sentence was going to end, though.

“I'm not coming back.” Zaeed barked at Valy as he passed through the lobby.

“What?” Valy shouted after him. A middle finger thrown behind him was the only reply the asari got.

****

The further he got away from the offices, the wider the shit-eating grin on his scarred face became. By the time he stepped into his apartment, he was chuckling to himself. He'd wanted to walk out of that godforsaken place ever since he first stepped foot in it, and what better time than now?

“God-damn.” He muttered as he flopped onto the couch. He brought up his omni tool, and entered his messaging app. He clicked on Shepard's name straight away.

He frowned.

What was he going to write? She'd been reported as uninjured. He didn't want to ask her if she was alright; she clammed up tighter than he did when it came to talking about their feelings.

_Shepard,_  
_Heard what happened today. Need a drink?_

He pressed send, but didn't shut the messaging app. He stared at it for a few minutes, before the stupidity of the situation got to him. He was in his forties, for fuck's sake. He didn't have time to sit around staring at his omni-tool and waiting for a reply. That was something lovesick assholes pulled; not him. Just as he raised a finger to close it down, he received a reply.

_Fuck yeah. Was just about to message you. Decided to hold party tonight. Come over. I'll send you my address x_

Zaeed raised an eyebrow at the 'x'. Another part of him raised slightly at her enthusiasm.

****

The krogan sized Alliance lieutenant greeted Zaeed with a knowing smirk.

“Come in.” He said as he stepped aside to let Zaeed in. Vaguely familiar rock music was playing from somewhere near the back of the apartment (which took away a bit of the awkwardness he felt), and he could hear Shepard's raucous laughter. The night cycle on the Citadel had begun, and bars of pink neon light flooded the bottom level of the spacious apartment. He glanced past James, and spotted the bouquet of flowers; displayed proudly on a coffee table in what appeared to be the main lounge area. Well, at least she didn't burn them, he thought.

“Head on back. They're at the bar.” James jerked his thumb in the direction of the the fireplace before wandering off towards the kitchen. Zaeed passed the couches, and stepped around the corner into the smaller lounge/bar area.

“Massani!” Garrus exclaimed excitedly as he threw his arms up in the air, spilling the drink in his hand as he did so. Before he had time to return a greeting, there were arms thrown around his neck and a petite body pressed against his front.

“Zaeed!” Shepard's muffled voice said against his neck. Her breath was warm and tickled his skin. His hands automatically moved to grip her hips.

“Glad you could make it.” Shepard said as she pulled back from him slightly. Zaeed frowned at the strong scent of alcohol that filled his nostrils.

“Thanks for the invite.” Zaeed managed.

“Ooooh, who's this, then?” Zaeed turned his head to the right to source the origin of the accented voice. A slim brunette with bright red cheeks grinned brightly at him.

“Sam, this is Zaeed Massani.” Shepard said slowly; her arms still around him.

“ _The_ Zaeed Massani?” Sam's eyes widened slightly, before she gave him a smug smile. Shepard nodded.

“Pleased to meet you, Mr Massani. I've heard plenty about you!” The British woman stuck out her hand, and Zaeed awkwardly removed his right hand from Shepard's waist and stuck it out to his side to oblige her. When they had finished shaking hands, Sam moved past them to take a seat at the bar next to Garrus, where the two resumed a very animated conversation.

“Hi.” Shepard grinned at him. Her eyes were glassy, and her cheeks were just as red as the Sam woman's.

“Hello. Celebrating the slaying of the evil twin, are we?” Zaeed struggled to keep his tone even. He wouldn't touch her; not when she was clearly plastered, but the way she was pressed up against him all tight and hot didn't fail to make his mind wander.

Shepard threw her head back and laughed.

“Yeah. Fuck her.” Shepard said.

“You were the better looking one, anyway.” James said as he skirted around the still embracing couple; holding a large glass of what Zaeed assumed was alcohol above his head to avoid spilling it on himself as he bumped past them.

“Pfffft. We were _identical_.” Shepard slurred as she twisted in Zaeed's grasp to shoot James a disapproving look.

“Nah. She wasn't as fit as you. _Culata_ not as tight as yours, Lola.” James said with a wink before taking the seat next to Traynor and joining in on the human and turian's conversation. Shepard twisted back to face Zaeed.

“So this apartment has three bedrooms. Want to do it in every one?” She said with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

“ _What?_ ” Zaeed spluttered, and Shepard grinned. She rocked onto her tip-toes, then leant forward until her full lips were brushing against his earlobe. A shiver of pleasure rolled down his spine.

“I've been thinking about you _all_ day.” She said; silky smooth and full of lust.

“Is that right?” Zaeed replied, somewhat lamely. He was too much of an asshole to admit that he'd been thinking of her all day, too. He didn't want to let her know just how much power their tryst had given her over him. Shepard grinned against his un-scarred cheek.

“Yes. _All. Day_.” She pressed herself against him harder, and Zaeed almost groaned. He shot a quick glance over Shepard's shoulder; Garrus and the two Alliance crew members were still deeply engrossed in conversation, thankfully ignoring their amorous presence.

“Come.” Shepard took advantage of his momentary inattention, and wriggled out of his grip and grabbed his hand to pull him towards the stairs that were just around the corner. He followed; letting her lead a few steps up.

“Are you staring at my ass?” Shepard asked; feigning irritation as she stopped and turned to face him.

“I'm not going to deny it.” Zaeed replied, which drew a satisfied grin from Shepard. She turned, and made her way up the remaining stairs onto the landing with extra swing in her hips. When Zaeed made it to the top, she grabbed hold of his hand again.

“Maybe we can just do it in my bedroom, but lots of times.” She said as she pulled him into the room and shut the door behind them. Before he could protest, she was wrapped around him again; her hot little mouth pressed against his. With monumental willpower, he grabbed her shoulders and slowly pushed her back. She looked at him with an expression that encompassed embarrassment and confusion.

“Oh. I'm sorry, I assumed that since we... never mind. Sorry.” Shepard stammered as she took a couple of shaky steps back from him. She glanced at the floor, before forcing herself to make eye contact with him again.

“Um... would you like to stay for drinks, at least? I've got four kinds of whiskey and a-”

“Shepard.” Zaeed held up a hand, and Shepard's mouth snapped shut.

“There's nothing I'd like more than to defile every room in this bloody ridiculously over the top apartment with you.”

“But?” Shepard asked nervously.

“But, we're not going to do it when you're hammered.” Zaeed finished, even though it pained him to do so. Shepard rolled her eyes.

“What's that for?” Zaeed asked as he folded his arms across his chest.

“I'm not hammered! I've only had twenty three-”

“ _Twenty three!_ ” Zaeed shouted, a little louder than he meant to. How was she even _standing?_ He'd seen men twice her size passed out in a puddle of their own piss well before that. Shepard tapped a finger to her temples on the exact spot where her cybernetic scars were most noticeable before she had them fixed.

“Cerberus, remember? I could keep going all night and still walk in a straight line. Bastards wouldn't even let me get drunk. Right now, I'm tipsy, at most.” Shepard sighed as she took a few more steps back until the back of her knees hit the bed, and she sat down on bed; springing up and down a few times on the thick mattress.

“Thought you would've remembered that.” She said in a small voice. Zaeed narrowed his eyes. Shit, yeah, he did remember. Shepard had drunk that Chakwas doctor under the table, then beat Grunt at a krogan drinking game, then walked into his cabin with only a mild stagger that one time. It had taken Grunt two days to recover, and Chakwas three. _Slurp-It-Down-Shepard_ , Jack had proudly called her.

“I didn't know if...” Zaeed trailed off; wincing at his internal choice of words. He hadn't realised how little he'd known about her time in detention until now.

“If... ?” Shepard encouraged. He inhaled deeply.

“I wasn't sure what the Alliance did to you when they had you locked up. Thought they might've fiddled with all that stuff inside of you.” Shepard shook her head, before flopping back onto the bed with a sigh. Zaeed tried desperately not to focus on the way her tight tank top rode up to her ribs.

“There was no fiddling done, unfortunately.” Shepard said as she held up a hand and motioned for him to come over. Zaeed sat on the edge of the bed, then lay down next to her.

“Unfortunately?” Zaeed asked as he tilted his head towards her slightly. Shepard shot him a sidelong glance before staring at the ceiling. Zaeed took her moment of thought to admire her profile.

“It just doesn't feel normal. There's... there's buzzing, sometimes. Like my brain's rattling around in my skull.” Shepard frowned as she squinted at the ceiling above them.

“Dim lights.” She said in a flat voice, and the bright overhead lights dimmed until Shepard's features were barely visible. _Shame_ , Zaeed thought.

“Sometimes I get a throbbing pain under my scars. Feels like it's bone deep.” Zaeed admitted. It had bothered him constantly after his face was stitched back together, but as the years went on, the pain only resurfaced occasionally.

“Yeah. I get that too. In my ribs and my knees. Guess there's a lot of stuff holding me together there. Chakwas offered to show me the x-rays, but, uh..” Shepard waved her hand in the air as she trailed off.

“Yeah, I get it.” Zaeed said. He didn't want to know what kind of Frankenstein bullshit the doctors that fixed him up had pulled, so he'd never bothered to find out. As long as his face didn't fall off, he'd put up with the pitted scars and the occasional pain. It was better than not having a face, after all.

They lay in silence, until Vega's loud laughter filtered through the small crack in the bottom of the bedroom door. Zaeed shifted slightly, and almost jumped when Shepard slipped her hand into his. She squeezed tightly, then let her grip relax as she rolled on to her side to face him.

“Is this ok?” She whispered.

“'Course.” Zaeed grunted back. Okay was an understatement. Her touch was sending warmth throughout his body, and he felt drunk on the high of it. Shepard moved closer until she was pressed against his side. She pulled her hand away from his, and rearranged herself so that she was spooning his side. Zaeed moved his arm up, and Shepard lifted her head up to allow him to slide it under her neck. When they had finally settled into a comfortable position, Shepard hummed in satisfaction.

“Thank you for the flowers. They were beautiful.” She whispered against his ear. Zaeed tightened his arm around her, and Shepard pressed against him so impossibly tightly that it was almost uncomfortable. _Almost_. Zaeed nodded; not trusting his mouth to say something appropriate. It'd been a damn long time since he'd courted a woman, and he didn't want to risk ruining whatever they were doing by speaking.

“Who knew that Zaeed Massani could be so damn-” she nipped at his lobe, and Zaeed squeezed his eyes shut to keep from groaning, “- _sweet_.” Her tongue traced the spot that she had just sunk her teeth in to, and this time Zaeed was powerless to hold back a groan. She let out a huff of air that was somewhere between a gasp and a chuckle, then threw her leg over his hip and pulled herself to a straddling position atop him. Even in the dim light, he could see her eyes sparkling with mirth and the smirk across her lips.

“You're hard.” She said as she ground excruciatingly slowly against him.

“Does that surprise you?” Zaeed said as he slid his hands up her thighs to grip her waist.

“Hmmmm.” She replied as she gently trailed her nails over the thin black t-shirt that covered his chest.

“Hmmmm?” Zaeed repeated with a frown. Shepard moved her hands back up to his shoulders, and massaged them with such skill that Zaeed felt his entire body relax at her touch (except for one part, but there was no way that was going to relax any time soon unless Shepard was at least a kilometre away from him). He must have made a face, because Shepard grinned at him; self satisfied and completely aware that she was undoing him.

“Thought maybe now that you'd gotten some practice in, you might've gone off and found yourself another willing lady. Maybe even _two_ willing ladies.” Shepard winked at him, and Zaeed gave her a steady stare that made her face turn completely neutral and her hands stop their glorious movements around his shoulders.

“Three willing ladies? Holy _fuck_ , Zaeed! You're out of control!” She grinned as she smoothed her palms down across his scapula. Zaeed rolled his eyes.

“Just one? Alright, fair enough. You've gotta work yourself up to an orgy, I get tha-” Shepard shrieked as Zaeed had her on her back in the blink of an eye.

“Do you _ever_ shut up, Shepard?” He asked in exasperation, but the grin on his mouth took out all of the venom in his words.

“Only when there's something to do with my mouth.” She replied seductively. Zaeed dropped his forehead to her shoulder.

“Jesus Christ, Shepard. Don't say things like that.” He mumbled against the top of her breast.

“Oh! Sorry. Too much? I'll-” She yelped at the pleasure pain as Zaeed sunk his teeth into the smooth flesh of her neck. She writhed under him as he sucked at her skin; her hands desperately sliding over his back to find the perfect spot that she could dig her nails into. When she settled on the space between his shoulder blades, he hissed and bit into her neck harder. She moaned; loud and genuine, and Zaeed couldn't help but thrust his hard length against her own clothed cunt. Shepard tilted her head to the side in an attempt to catch his lips, and Zaeed obliged her. She pulled him against her forcefully as they kissed; teeth catching on lips and tongues sliding over each other as Shepard flipped Zaeed back onto his back. She cupped his jaw in her hands as Zaeed slid his hands down to grab her arse. She was wearing the tightest goddamn jeans he'd ever seen, and the feeling of his palms tracing the shape of her perfect behind made him dizzy with intense lust. He pulled his lips away from hers; the taste of alcohol stinging his overworked lips. Shepard pulled back; regarding him with a frown.

“You sure you're not drunk, Shepard? I don't want to take advantage of you if you're incapable of making-”

“Not drunk, Zaeed. I want you again.” She said with utter conviction.

“Is that alright with you?” She asked. His nails dug into her arse cheeks and he relished the way her lips parted slightly and her eyes closed slightly.

“God-damn right it is.” Zaeed had barely finished speaking before Shepard had slid away from him to kneel on the floor and reached forward to undo his pants. She made quick work of the top button, and her thumb and index finger pinched the puller of his zipper just as there was a knock and a loud cough at the door. They both stilled.

“Uh, Shepard? People are starting to arrive. Do you want me to tell them you're still getting ready, or... ?” Garrus asked awkwardly. Shepard swore under her breath.

“I'll be down soon. I'm still getting ready.” Shepard called back in an impressively even tone. Garrus coughed again.

“Right. Is Zaeed in there with you?” The turian asked.

“Yes. He'll be out soon too.” Shepard grinned at Zaeed, who looked just as frustrated as he felt. He finally got his hands on the object of his desire, and she had to be torn away to host some fucking stupid party. Couldn't the twats just busy themselves for a couple of hours? A job wasn't worth doing if you had to rush it, after all.

“Right.” Garrus said again. There was mumbling on the other side of the door before Garrus spoke again.

“I'll let them know you're busy with something important. Something that involves mercs.” The teasing in his alien tone was blatantly obvious. Shepard turned to face the door.

“Garrus! _No!_ ” She shouted.

“What, Liara? Oh yes, she's _very_ busy. In fact, I think it's safe to say that she's having the time of her life dealing with said merc.” There was snickering from numerous people, and Zaeed propped himself up on his elbows to glare at the door.

“Garrus!” Shepard shouted, but there was no reply.

“Vakarian! Oh, you wait, you shit-head!” Shepard yelled as she jumped off of Zaeed and ran towards the door to open it slightly.

“Don't think I don't know about you and Tali! I'm feeling a little strict on fraternisation regs this week!” She yelled through the small gap before pulling the door shut again, and flicking the lock just to be safe. When Shepard turned back to Zaeed, she was grinning.

“Come here.” Zaeed said as he tilted his head backwards. Shepard slowly moved forward, then slid up his body to press a kiss to his lips. Before he could wrap his arms around her, she slid back off him and bounded towards what Zaeed assumed was the bathroom.

“I've gotta get ready.” She said as she cast him a disappointed look over her shoulder when she reached the door. Zaeed rolled onto his stomach so that he could face her. The pressure of the bed against his hard cock made him want to strangle every single person that had shown up to the party. Couldn't they all have been horribly late? Didn't they know that they were being complete goddamn cock-blocks?

“Right.” Zaeed nodded; resigned to the fact that he was just going to have to get over the major cock-block and hope that he'd get some time with Shepard before she had to leave the Citadel for whatever she needed to do. He could make any time work; after all, he was now unemployed and had no qualms about dancing to the beat of her drum.

“Don't think this is over. I want you to come find me later.” Shepard said with a seductive glance before slipping into the bathroom and quickly closing the door behind her.

Wait.

Was that... a _hot tub?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the UST wasn't too frustrating :P It will definitely be resolved in the next chapter.
> 
> Also culata means butt ;)

**Author's Note:**

> ... cause we all know Zaeed's secretly a romantic, right? ;)


End file.
